Safety tips

It is super exciting and exciting to meet a woman. Nevertheless, you must always be careful with people you do not know. First of all you never know who is really sitting across from you on the other side of the smartphone.

So that you can get through your data safely, we have summarized online and offline dating safety tips. If you stick to them and listen to your gut, nothing should be in the way of a successful dating.

Online safety

1. Remain anonymous

When you create a profile more or less questions can be asked. Try to keep as little information about yourself as possible.

The wonderful thing about a dating app is that you can be very anonymous. So don’t give away too much personal information. She doesn’t need to know your address, full name, employer, favourite restaurant, sports club etc.

Tell rather generally about your hobbies, what you like to eat, which music you like to listen to, which movies and series you like to watch or where you like to go on vacation.

Only give up your anonymity when you have really gained confidence in your flirt partner. However, this can usually happen even after 2-3 dates.

Keep it really low key when it comes to your last name. If you tell her, she will google him and maybe find out more about you, e.g. what sports competitions you have participated in, what company you work for, etc. By withholding your name, you avoid internet stalking. She might also use the stolen information against you and threaten you (e.g. she outes you to your employer).

Choose a neutral profile name. Make sure that it is not necessarily childish, provocative or forced erotic like “SexyMausileinXXX”, but a neutral name like “Ada88 *Rainbow-Emoji*”. So there will be no misunderstandings about your intention (to find the woman of your life).

Also, your profile picture should be neutral and not show any bare skin (you are sending a clearly ambiguous signal). You and your eyes should be clearly seen. .

2. Take a close look at her profile

Take a close look at it to see if it is a fake profile and if there is a man (who enjoys writing with us) behind it.

For example, if the other woman only has one picture in her profile – where she still looks like a model, keeps her personal information covered, then you should be alerted. Something seems to be wrong!

If you notice anything suspicious about a profile, you can report it to us in the app (go to the corresponding profile and click on the “Report profile” button).

3. Pay attention to their communication

You do not only have to check the profile. Also pay attention to how she communicates with you.

So: Does she write to you superficially without addressing you personally by name (pseudonym) (e.g. only with a “Hey”)? Does she not refer at all to your answers and questions, or to the thing you tell her about? If so, then something is not right.

Apparently she writes to several women at the same time and just copies and pastes text. Or it is again a fake user who asks a lot of questions, but does not reveal anything. If it’s real, she will also reveal something about herself.


If you notice anything suspicious about a message thread here too, you can report it to us in the app (go to the corresponding profile and click on the “Report profile” button).

4. Keep your mobile phone number to yourself

If you are still in the getting to know each other phase, communicate exclusively via the Aquema app. If there is a criminal intent behind it, people will often try to redirect the conversation from the platform immediately to SMS, messaging apps, email or the phone. So pay attention at the beginning if she tries to get in contact with you quickly through another way.

If you want to hear her voice and talk to her before a first meeting, you can also use Skype for example. There you can create an account for free (without a mobile phone number) and you can be found using the username you have given yourself.

If you want to be safe, get a prepaid SIM card and put it into an old smartphone. If things get serious and you can’t get rid of the woman, you could if necessary give up this number easily.

5. Do not send nude pictures

Nude pictures are really a serious subject, because your body belongs to you and you certainly don’t want strangers to take pleasure on it!

If she rushes ahead and demands nude pictures, there could be two reasons: 1. she is not interested in the big love (like you!) or 2. she is in fact (once again) a man.

In both cases it is not what you are looking for and you should ignore it (and in the second case report it to us).

These pictures can also appear on completely different sites on the internet and as is well known, the internet never forgets anything!

So keep a low profile and do not send obscene pictures of yourself. You can do that (if you need to) when you have met the woman, trust her and really know who she is. But even then, we would rather not advise it.

6. Do not transfer money

You do not talk about salary or money (when dating).

If she still demands money from you, you should be alarmed immediately.

NEVER transfer money under any circumstances. Whatever heartbreaking and sad story she tells you, keep your money for yourself! Love has nothing to do with money, but with love!

Stay away from that woman. If necessary, you should report the profile to us.

7. Pay attention to early expressions of love

Similar to asking for money, you should become suspicious if she is too quick to shower you with expressions of love or exaggerated compliments.

Sorry, but after 1-2 weeks of chatting you are certainly not her “one and only”, her “sweetheart”, her “life”, her “love”. Once again, this is usually followed by a quick request to transfer money.

The deceiver tries to make you emotionally dependent – these caresses do your soul good, no question about it. Nevertheless: Beware of this Romance Scamming!

She just makes you believe that it’s love. For you it means: Block and report!

8. Report any suspicious or offensive behaviour

You notice when somebody crosses a certain line, and when that happens, we want to know about it. Block and report anyone who violates our terms. Here are some examples of infringements:

  • Asking for money or donations
  • Underage users
  • Harassment, threats and offensive messages
  • Inappropriate or harmful conduct during or after a personal
  • meeting
  • Fraudulent profiles
  • spam or advertising, including links to commercial websites or the attempt to sell products and services

If you notice any suspicious behavior in relation to a profile or a message thread, you can report it here.

Offline safety

1. Choose the time and do not rush into anything

We recommend that you meet with the woman as soon as possible before you build up a picture of her that she does not fulfill.

However, you should take your time and get to know the woman before you meet or chat outside Aquema. So ask her questions to identify suspicious statements or personal knockout criteria.

For your first date, choose a time that is right for you, when you feel emotionally ready.

2. Inform friends and/or family

When it comes to the first date, inform a friend or a family member. Tell when and where you will meet.

You can also arrange a security call. Then you will be called and the person on the phone can ask if everything is alright.

You can also share your location for the duration of your date so that your friend or family member can see where you are.

This also means that your phone should be charged and with you.

3. Meet in public and stay there

On your first date, always meet in public and well attended places and NEVER at your or her home!

So go to a bar for a drink or walk in the park.

If she pressures you to go someplace private, end your date immediately.

4. Go to a date and return home separately

There are several reasons why you should go alone to a date and go home alone or separately from your date.

The first reason is that she shouldn’t know where you live. This way you could prevent possible stalking if there is no interest from your side.

The second reason is that you can decide when you want to leave. This means you are not bound to the woman you are meeting and could end your date at any time.

The third reason is that you can decide for yourself how to get to the date and back home. Do you drive by car, public transport, bicycle, taxi or let a friend or someone from the family drive you.

5. Keep an eye on your drink and personal belongings

In order that drugs, knockout drops etc. are not mixed into your drink, only accept sealed bottles or drinks from the waiter or bartender!

Substances that are mixed into drinks to facilitate sexual assaults are supposed to be colorless, tasteless and odorless.

Always keep your charged mobile phone and other valuables (wallet, keys, bag, etc.) with you.

6. Know your limits with alcohol and drugs

Know your limits and be aware of the effects of drugs and alcohol have on you. Too much of it can impair your vigilance and judgment.

If you notice that your date wants to get you drunk and urges you to drink more than you like, then end your date.

7. Go if you do not feel well

If your gut tells you something is wrong, end your date. It’s perfectly okay and we even advise you to do so!

If you feel your safety is at risk, contact the waiter, bartender or a person in the immediate vicinity.

3. If you are in a (European) foreign country

Please also make sure you are safe when abroad!

Even though our app is only available for the European area and most European countries are very liberal and have e.g. same-sex marriages, be aware of the specific laws regarding “sexual orientation” that affect us locally.

If you have dates outside of Europe and you are in countries where you are not 100% sure, it is better not to go on a date with an unknown person. It could be that the government there is setting traps to put us behind bars. So please be extremely careful in such countries.

On the website of ILGA World you can see the laws on sexual orientation by country. If you want to support their research, you can make a donation by clicking on this link.

Source: ILGA WorldSource: ILGA World

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